Drawing My Circles: When Things Go Wrong

Hi everyone!

It’s been a while since my last post, and that’s because a lot of things have been going on. I have an online summer class that I’m working hard on, packing for Ecuador, and trying my best to continue following where God is leading me. 

I truly feel my heart being pulled toward Ecuador, but I so happen to be missing a pretty crucial thing that I need to get there… my passport. 

Yes, yes, I know, you’re probably looking at your screen going, “Katee, what on earth?!?” Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for about a week now. The scary thing is, our group is leaving in about a week. So, as you can imagine, My family and I have done just about everything we can to find it, and currently, to no avail. We’ve also been looking for a way to get a copy of my passport, but that’s going to end up costing a LOT of money. 

So, that’s where I’m at. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. It’s really difficult, and I’m starting to wonder if God really wants me to go or not. But, you know what? This is just what I’ve been reading about in the 40 Day Prayer Challenge: You need to work like it depends on you, and pray like it depends on God. 

This is a direct quote from what I read in my devotion this morning: “Sometimes we need to be willing to give something up to God in order to get it back from God.” This is talking about God giving us a dream or desire (i.e. me going to Ecuador), then us giving that desire back to God. 

Now, you’re probably saying, “why would God do that?” Well, sometimes, like with our sins, we can end up putting God-given desires and dreams before God. He wants to test us and make sure they aren’t becoming idols in our lives. If that is the case, those dreams and desires may need to die so that God can resurrect them. 

“God often takes things away to give them back so that we know they are gifts to be stewarded for His glory.” — Mark Batterson

And if I were to be completely honest, I feel as if that may be what God is trying to tell me. Maybe I’ve been putting my desire to go to Ecuador before the very God who gave me that desire, and the thought of that breaks my heart. So, this has become my prayer: If God still wants me to go to Ecuador, I will find my passport before the end of this week. If I don’t, then I will know God wants be to stay home and give that dream back to Him. 

I’ve been told that this 40 Day Prayer Challenge is going to be one of the hardest things I’ll do. I’m only halfway through it, and it’s already proving that. I need to remember that even though God has placed this desire in me, it is nothing that needs to take His place in my life. I honestly feel closer to God then I ever have before. I truly am thankful for that. Now, I want to ask if you will join me in this prayer: for our team of people who will be going to Ecuador. We need to pray that God will minister through them and that all the lives they touch will be changed by God. 

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfector of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” Matthew 12:1&2

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